I Could Be Your Neighbor . . .
ISN’T THAT HORRIFYING? by Cavin Gonzalez. Published by Back Patio Press
The cover blurbs for I Could Be Your Neighbor, Isn’t that Horrifying? say things like “fun-house mirror” and “a hybrid of prose and poetry, not really comfortable being either.” I concur. This collection of micro-fiction pieces are flashes inside the mind of someone trying to hold themselves together, which basically describes 90% of the creative people I know.
Gonzalez’s words suck you into a macabre mindset: “. . . sometimes my organs leak onto the floor, causing me to apologize.” The language in these short pieces reminded me of a writer friend who applied for a job in a nuclear power plant. The interviewer asked if she saw and heard things that other people didn’t. That’s what writers do so she answered yes. We all laughed when she didn’t get the job.
Gonzalez sees and hears things that other (presumably normal) people don’t. The ring of authenticity makes it seem this author has been dragged around a few times with his face in the dirt. Without that life experience, it would be difficult to convey emotion so succinctly in these pieces.
One of my ways of rating an author is whether their work makes me want to invite them over to have a few drinks and a home cooked meal. I want to quiz them about their writing and their journey to this point in their lives. Cavin Gonzalez makes the list.
From Nausea and Shame: “There is nothing but shame: the shame of my past, the shame of conforming, and the shame of feeling utterly defeated in the prime of my life.”
We’ve all see that person’s Instagram. Selfies of them and their friends with red Solo cups or long-neck bottles or wine glasses raised toward the camera. Everyone grinning with their heads mushed together to fit in the frame. If there’s a woman, her hair is done and she’s wearing make-up, maybe smudged from all the screaming with laughter. The person whose smile doesn’t reach their eyes is the one who feels nothing but shame despite outward appearances.
From Honey Chipotle Chicken Crispers: “I live on a moral fork in the road surrounded by marsh land. Standing in the middle, knee deep in muck. Balanced, but barely so.”
Aren’t all creative types stuck here except? Down one fork is RESPONSIBILITY in the form of a regular paycheck and maybe an average family composed of 3.14 people. Down the other fork is dancing naked in the rain and creating ART for the sake of ART.
From Backyard Anxieties: “But still, it is so horrifying to be a tourist in this chipper world. A tourist who is utterly confused and without a translator or a map or a dictionary or an instructional manual.”
Especially right now (the book was published in early 2020) when we live down the rabbit hole where the Red King runs around shouting ‘off with their heads’. We’re offered tea and cake but not allowed to eat. We are desperately searching for a way through the mess we’ve created. Over 200,000 people have died but Disney World is open.
You can order I Could Be Your Neighbor, Isn’t that Horrifying on Amazon. It’s well worth the read.